Love thy neighbor...

I hate my neighbors. I go many weeks without remembering that I hate my neighbors, but then they go and remind me, usually around 3 or 4 in the morning. The one time I asked them to be quiet (at 2 a.m.) they basically told me to f*** off and continued carrying on until 6 a.m. when I finally got out of bed to drive to the airport. 

Last night was one of these special occasions, after stumbling home from a holiday party and drinking a few glasses of water I fell into bed and into a deep sleep around 2:30. It was delightfully quiet in my apartment, the windows which have been open all month let in the cool air and everything was good... Until I was woken up at 5 a.m. by my neighbors who were carrying on rambunctiously and playing music at an unreasonable level. 

There are three factors that contribute to my abhorrence of my neighbors: 1) the apartment complex has quiet hours written into the lease agreement, from midnight to 8 a.m.; 2) I have put in earplugs and tried to ignore the neighbors, but they are so loud the earplugs don't drown them out; 3) I pretty much don't like anyone who disturbs my sleep. 

They are often so noisy that even with my door closed, my roommate can hear them in her bedroom. It really cheeses me off that even though we've asked them on numerous occasions to be quiet they still continue to carry on at the same volume. So I think I'm just going to start posting the print out of the building's quiet time policy on their door. 

One of the many authors I remember dearly from my childhood is Robert Munsch. We had some stories of his on audiotape and I loved to listen to them, even now they come to mind occasionally. The story of Mortimer in particular seems appropriate here. You can give it a listen on the website. It's a story of a little boy who is tucked in to bed, and as soon as the adults are downstairs he begins yelling "CLANG CLANG RATTLE BING BANG GONNA MAKE MY NOISE ALL DAY." At least thinking of this when my neighbors are being obnoxious makes me laugh a little bit.

Same Love

It's been fun talking to my brother in Germany for many reasons, but one of those is that we share similar tastes in music and I get to be a total hipster because he has heard about a few hot songs that he's passed along to me and weeks later they are making news in the US. For example he sent me a link to "Somebody That I Used to Know" about 3 weeks before it got national airplay in the US - I thought the song was alright, and I told him that it would never catch on in here. Another really great artist that he introduced me to is Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. You may not have heard of them, but if you're in Michigan, I'll bet you've heard of a South Lyon teacher who was suspended from work for playing their song "Same Love". Note: if you're a close-minded, bigoted ass you may not appreciate the lyrics, so click at your own risk. (I would say sorry if I've offended you, but I would only mean it if my use of profanity has offended you. If you're offended that I think you're an ass, well you probably are.)

I have listened to the song about a hundred times. I love it more every time I hear it, granted I appreciate this genre of music, but I recognize that it's not everyone's cup of tea. However, the message in the lyrics should be in every cup of tea, milk, juice, and what have you. I somehow forget that the rest of the country doesn't necessarily have the same views as we do in DC, a city that went 91% for Obama in the recent election. It's disheartening however that an 8th grader would complain about a song that promotes equality. It's not like the song is advocating gayness all around, simply that if you are gay you should have the same rights as everyone else and if you aren't gay (and are a decent person) you shouldn't stand up for discrimination and bullying.

Don't get me wrong, I realize that we have so many rights in this country that others can only dream of, but it just paints a dismal picture of the future when we have so many people who are vehemently against the LGBT community. Homosexuality isn't a virus or bacteria that you're going to catch if you brush past someone, and nothing about being a homosexual detracts from the life of their heterosexual neighbors. And I don't only support them because neither of my roommates are strictly straight, not because I play on a women's rugby team primarily composed of lesbians, I support them because I was raised to be a decent human being (shout out to mom & dad). 

Still anti-gay marriage? Here's some food for thought: Gay men will marry your girlfriends. 

Recipe for a brooding playlist

In this time of my life, while I've been feeling sorry for myself for not having a special someone, for not having a job, for having a broken bone and not being able to play rugby, I have fueled my mood which at times could only be described as brooding with music. However it is really difficult to wallow in self pity when your music library is full of such a myriad of music genres. I put in the effort picking out something like "Fast Car" and once the song is over I might get lucky with something similar, but more likely I'll get "Cecelia", "She Wolf", or worse "Call Me Maybe". Needless to say, I have to interrupt my brooding to dance for a moment and then change the music.

My efforts to create a playlist which would fuel my brooding for a longer timespan resulted in going through every song in my 6K track iTunes library to pick out the best of brooding, and as I have been listening to it, I've realized two things: 1. Maybe I'm not the only one who has a problem with too many genres in their playlist; and 2. There should be an easier way to make this playlist. 

So this is my recipe (complete with examples) for creating your own brooding playlist, should you have a need to brood and don't have a playlist already.

1. Pick the music that reminds you of your most serious relationships - Calling You by Blue October, By Your Side by Sade
2. Mix in any songs that remind you of unrequited love - Somewhere Out There by Our Lady Peace, Acoustic #3 by Goo Goo Dolls
3. Sprinkle a few songs that you listened to repeatedly after breaking up aforementioned relationships - No Air by Jordin Sparks, Where I Stood by Missy Higgings, And the World Turned by Gabe Dixon Band
4. Toss in a few epic movie soundtrack songs - May it Be by Enya (from LOTR), Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift (from Hunger Games), No Sound but the Wind by Editors (from Twilight)
5. Add a couple songs with heartbreaking lyrics and/or vocals - Laughing With by Regina Spektor, Cosmic Love by Florence + the Machine, In Color by Jamey Johnson
6. Fold in a few songs from Grey's Anatomy (or whatever show you like where only terrible things happen) - You Found Me by The Fray, Show Me What I'm Looking For by Carolina Liar
7. And finally, pepper the soundtrack with some Death Cab for Cutie (I Will Follow You in to the Dark, Your Heart is an Empty Room, Grapevine Fires) and Coldplay (Swallowed in the Sea, Paradise, Clocks)

And when you're finished wallowing switch it back to Call Me Maybe... I haven't heard that song in a whole 5 minutes.

To join or not to join...

I think one of my dad's favorite suggestions for what I should do with my life is that I should join the military. I think just about every time we talk about my ongoing hunt for meaningful employment he asks if I've talked with the Air Force recruiter with whom I worked briefly applying to be an officer before I got the job with Chemonics. My answer remains the same, although each time he mentions it the idea seems more and more reasonable. I'm just not sure how committed I am to the idea and whether my motivations are the right ones.

I have to admit the primary driver is the financial one. I would love to be able to take all of my income and eliminate my debts and build my investment portfolio. Not to mention the prospect of potentially receiving a signing bonus, which has the potential to be many thousands of dollars. My current financial situation has given me an opportunity to really practice those good habits I blogged about a while ago. Especially considering that of the money coming in each month 90% is going to bills. From what I can glean, in the military the only bills I would be paying would be my car payments and insurance.

Secondary to that, and this is a bit hard to admit on the Internet to an unknown audience, is that I don't feel confident in my abilities to make the right decisions about what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. James' advice when I told him that I was fired was that I should figure out where I want to be in 5 years and map the path to get there. Good advice, except I have no idea where I want to be in 5 years. I have nothing in particular tying me here, on the other hand I feel like I am finally beginning to establish a circle of friends and potential male companions ;) But does wanting someone else to call the shots for me mean I'm copping out on putting my big girl panties on and facing the world?

The rest of my motivators fall into a tertiary category which captures the obvious benefits of serving in the military that any recruiter would tell you... how service looks on a resume, the potential for additional trainings that can be directly commuted to the "real world", the potential to go to the DLI and learn a language if I go enlisted, and the pride for serving your country.

I am confident that any of the downsides of the military are things that I can endure, and the benefits of joining the military might just be the fork I'm supposed to take in life that will lead me to where I'm supposed to be in 5 years, even if I can't see that it's where I am supposed to be. On the other hand, maybe it's just the cabin fever and job despair talking. Happy for any comments anyone has.

Life is hard.

I remember having all of these ideas of what being a "grownup" would be like when I got here. Obviously, based on experience... you go through high school, you meet the love of your life in college, you get married, start your career, have kids, and come out on the other hand with an awesome family and sunshine and rainbows. I mean honestly, as much as you can be jealous about anyone for anything, I had a really amazing childhood and my parents have given me so much, and in retrospect there isn't anything else I could have wanted. My problem now is that I don't measure up to these standards I constructed. 

College didn't yield a special someone for me, as sure as I was about what I wanted to major in - it hasn't practically worked out as well as I hoped, and kids are a long ways off even though some little voice in the back of my head is saying that I should have them already. I know, you're thinking things can't be all that bad... however I'm in a funk. 

Ever since I turned 26 (well actually two weeks before I turned 26) everything has been terrible. I got fired from the job that I thought was going to be my dream job, and then just a short month later I broke two bones in my arm. So I've spent the past weeks not only trying to rehab my arm, but also trying to rehab my broken spirit. I can only hope September was the low point of the year. 

Yes, this post has been a long time coming, but I was embarrassed that I failed, I was disappointed in myself and through reflection in my own mind assumed that other people would be disappointed in me as well. Luckily the people whose opinions matter the most to me have been very supportive of me, and now I can focus on proving my strength by getting back on my feet. The rest of it will fall into place in time.

Thank you Google.com... I really needed this :)

Wine musings...

Oh boy, oh boy... you're in for a treat, two blogs in a week! Although, if you're an immediate relative you may choose not to read it. (It's about boys!) Also note that I have been drinking tonight, so possibly not my best work.

One of my favorite movie quotes goes as such: 
"I like him" "You like every boy" "What's wrong with that?!" 

This is the story of my life when I'm single. I have crushes on everybody. That guy in the finance department, my brother's friend, the new security guy, the guy at my gym, the rock climbing instructor, the list goes on... I like guys, and I like lots of them. I mean why not? One of my co-workers was teasing me for my incessant crushes, but to be honest, I don't see the harm in it. 

Funny thing is that when a guy likes me, I have NO idea. I am possibly the most aloof person I've ever met. Ironic if you've ever met me and know how cocky/confident I am about how fantastic I am. As good as I am at learning languages (og ja jeg kan godt huske naesten alle de Danske jeg laert saa mange aar siden) body language is not a language I can read. Is there some handbook I can get on how guys flirt? What does it mean when he [blanks]? I like to think that I would appreciate it if a guy just said, hey I think you're really attractive and I'd like to see if our personalities mesh. Although, lets be honest, I would probably laugh and walk away.

You may have noticed two things, 1. that I'm not very good at writing frequently, and 2. that I haven't been answering "soul pancake" questions like I said I was going to. On the first, I'm learning that follow through isn't one of my strong suits. On the second, the book isn't what I expected. I'll probably get a few more thought provoking blogs out from it, but don't hold your breath. 

Instead I want to talk about something that I didn't find in the book - the line between being a kid and being an adult. (Cue Bittersweet Symphony on Pandora - honestly couldn't have picked it better) One of the biggest things that nags at me is when do you start feeling like a grownup instead of a kid. What defines an adult that differs from a kid? Bills? Job? Education? Family? 

So, today I had my first doctors appointment with my new PCP - the first doctor I've had since I moved to DC, and the first new doctor I've had since 1998. It was a bit weird. I didn't quite know what to expect, but she was interesting to say the least. She's about 55, used a bit of profanity, told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me and that I had excellent vitals. Follow that up with blood work, a trip to the dermatologist, chiropractor, and gynecologist and I'll be all set! 

Nearly a year and a half it took me to get my health situation set up, one more check mark on my "Being an Adult" to-do list. It didn't make me feel like a grown-up. I talked with the receptionist about whether I had a deductible on my insurance, but I had my HFS benefits card available if I had to pay something. 

At work we had a discussion about what becoming a 100% employee owned company meant, how the transaction worked and what the benefits to each of us would be eventually. I thoroughly enjoyed the presentation by our CFO (I'm noticing that I really like the financial aspects of work) and he mentioned something about how in your twenties it's hard to think about retirement. However, I'm already saving over 10% of my income for retirement, something kids my age aren't typically doing. But still, it doesn't make me feel like a grown up. 

When I really sit down to examine my life, something I've done more frequently lately, I keep thinking there's some invisible threshold that I'm going to cross and once I've passed the milestone I will wake up the next day feeling like a grown-up. 

Then again, maybe not.

Turning things from Red to Black

So, I've decided that I want to be fiscally responsible. Which, shouldn't have been so hard considering that I never did have to take out student loans and I started out pretty much with a $0 balance. But, the draw of new clothes, going out to bars, new furniture, airline tickets, and lobster for dinner quickly drew me into some poor decisions where money is concerned.

Step #1 - reducing high interest debt. I've gotten a new credit line that has an extended 0% APR on credit transfers, so I'm squashing all of my high interest credit cards and cutting them up as I go along. While I probably won't close out the accounts and may on occasion purchase a thing or two to keep my credit history going, I'm doing my darndest to cut spending on my credit card. 

Step #2 - paying for things in cash. Apparently there's some psychological experience when you pay for things in cash that you don't get when you pay with your card. And I suspect it has something to do with actually seeing the money leave your wallet. I'm getting my roommate to help out here, our shared groceries are going to be cash only. And, I think if I play this right, they're also going to be incredibly inexpensive. Today in fact with the coupons I had, I managed to cut my grocery bill by $30. Our current pool of monthly grocery money is $200, which I think is pretty thrifty.

Step #3 - saving for retirement. Not something that I will have to think about for a while, so I might as well not think about it now! Before you start jumping in to tell me that I need to save now, of course I am. I'm just not thinking about my savings. I have my 401K contributions automatically increased annually shortly after the promotion/raise cycle and I will start back in with my IRA once my credit cards are paid off. 

Step #4 - learning to say "no". Now, this is the hardest thing about being thrifty and sticking to my budget. I simply cannot go out for every drink, dinner, movie and event that I'm invited to. So, I'm slowly learning to prioritize which things I really want to spend money on (including driving to visit friends). 

Of course if you thought you were going to get a whole post out of me without a brief rant, you were mistaken. A woman I work with was complaining today about how she spent about $100 at dinner last night because people were ordering stuff and they split the bill evenly. I commented that I wouldn't simply split the bill for the convenience of others. If I had a budget and I only ate what I ordered I wouldn't feel bad for not paying a portion of other people's dinner. She proceeded to tell me "not to be mean or anything, but I hate people like that". Insert eye roll here. 

Why is it that someone should feel bad for wanting to split the bill. I'm certainly not going to nit pick about what percentage of a table hors d'oeuvre you ate vs. the percentage that I ate, but I'm not paying for your top shelf liquor and oysters when I ordered a salad and water! Maybe when I'm making 3 times as much as I'm making now, but right now, I simply will not feel bad for living within my means (or at least trying to).