I know you'll be here officially in 15 days - but I'm worried that when you arrive you'll only be here in body and not spirit. These days, though they are short on daylight feel like the longest ones of the year. You won't find me complaining about a seemingly endless summer. I need you Spring. Winter has worn out its welcome.
Winter is hard for me to deal with. Winter is my childhood friend who I remember differently in my mind. One of us has changed over the years, but we still spend these cold months together pretending it's the same as it always was. I don't want to give up on this, but I can't honestly say that this relationship is good for me. All of the darkness and death of the season reminds me that I haven't done the things I feel I ought to be doing, it reminds me that just as the leaves have fallen from the trees - that my leaves have fallen, and my metaphoric tree hasn't bloomed again. As the season of growth and growing is upon us the suspense of meeting my expectations builds and I have a pit in my stomach... "what if I don't bloom this season". Perhaps it is simply the bulb sitting in my stomach, waiting to be nourished with sunlight and warmth, or maybe the darkness of winter will simply consume everything. Only time will tell.
This is my plea to you Spring, come swiftly and surely - let the worms come back to our balcony where they can produce nutritious soil for our plants, let our plants sprout from their seed prisons and unfurl through the top soil to produce fruit, let the sun warm the animals and remind them that life is good, and the season of bounty is here. Perhaps we can have another young praying mantis friend this year, you'd like that wouldn't you?
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| I anxiously await your arrival dear friend... |
Lindsey
